Great Tower Race
"The Great Tower Race" is a short story in two parts featuring Patty, Ricardo, and many others in Calamity City Preschool.


Patty challenges Ricardo to a block stacking contest, which everyone in the class, including their teacher, Miss Mayday, get involved.

Patty gets a great head start while Ricardo busies himself to win by cheating and breaking every rule possible.

Patty recruits Jack, Phil, Prickles, and Donna to help fetch her blocks. Ricardo uses Joey, Elizabeth, Glump, and Beth. Phil sticks out as the star of block fetching, while Joey proves himself to be a potential up and coming criminal mastermind by robbing a toy store. Prickles proves her bravery by jumping in the path of an airborne block, and Elizabeth takes one for the team by getting shot in the chest by a crossbow. Patty uses Jack as a ladder to help her reach the top, and Ricardo turns the tables by recruiting Army Ants to build his tower for him. Donna disposes of Joey by sneezing fire on him.

In the end, Ricardo's tower is toppled by a flimsy floor created by the army ants, and Patty is victorious. As part of the bet, Ricardo is inflated and sent into the air. He is popped shortly afterward.

Key MomentsEdit

  • Joey drives a forklift into the classroom
  • Prickles takes a dive for Patty's tower
  • Elizabeth gets shot in the chest by Joey's crossbow. Joey has a crossbow.
  • Jack uses his neck stretching ability to help Patty reach the top of her tower.
  • Beth is arrested.
  • Glump eats Phil.
  • Donna sneezes fire on Joey, causing him to disintegrate into ash.
  • Ricardo is inflated into the size of a blimp and then popped by a little birdy.

Calamitology NotesEdit

Preschool in the Calamity City is very much like preschool in the real world, filled with a bunch of tiny kids with different personalities who barely get along. The major difference is that these kids tend to be a lot more intelligent and capable. And when calamitines kids fight, it can get real brutal. Unlike in the real world, calamitine teachers are under no obligation to protect the children from harm, due to the way society views harm as not being as serious an issue as those in the real world. Miss Mayday reacted in a typical calamitous world way, by encouraging fighting between them, instead of trying to calm them down and get them to get along. But in typical Miss Mayday fashion, she has them compete in an orgainized way with a ton of rules to keep things fair.

The rivalry between Ricardo and Patty comes to no surprise. They are each local celebrities in their own way, with Ricardo being the mayor's son and Patty being a television star. There is some obvious jealousy between them. Ricardo has been raised to believe that he is the most important creature in all the world, simply because he is related to somebody special. Patty challenges this belief, not only be presenting herself as somebody everybody likes more, but also by not demanding to be treated in a special way despite being special. Patty dislikes Ricardo because he keeps demanding to be treated special without actually having done anything special.

It is not unusual for the kids in this class to be roaming around outside the classroom during school hours. Preschool is typically believed to be optional anyway, and these kids being very intelligent and capable of taking care of themselves are permitted to roam freely without being bothered.

As for robbing a toy store, it is indeed illegal in this world, but not difficult to do. Security is very relaxed for the most part in this universe, with the occasional blood hungry muscle bound security guard in place of the typical locked safes and silent alarms, and these guards aren't very bright and can easily be fooled. Once the robbery has occurred, however, extra security measures can be brought in. And these measures tend to be inpassable.

Children, however, aren't held to the same standards of law as everyone else, since they are only children. Children are often able to get away with many crimes without any one complaining, since they're only children. Children, especially of preschool age, are rarely ever arrested. Beth managed to get herself arrested only because her muscles don't make her look like a child. As soon as her age is revealed, she was promptly released.

The case of the roof being removed may confuse many watchers from the real world, but in Calamity City, it's not that big a deal. A roof can be removed, and it can be placed back on with no real problems. There are companies that specialize in these kind of things and are relatively cheap. However, seeing that this was a school event and children were hiring, the construction crew agreed to do it for free. It didn't cost them very much to do anyway.

The issue of injuries is a tricky one in this case. Typically, injuries are non fatal and temporary. Toons can be stretched, squashed, and dismantled in various ways without permanent consequences, and thus, aren't treated with as much severity as they are in the real world. There are, however, the rare occassion where injuries can in fact be a serious matter. Death does exist and not all injuries are survivable. And some can be long lasting. It is unknown what causes some injuries to be serious while others are mere annoyances, but the toons themselves appear to have a sixth sense as to which ones are serious and which ones are temporary.

Joey grabbing a crossbow from thin air is not unusual. There exists a realm known as the Pocket Realm, in which an infinite amount of matter can be stored. This realm exists in a different plane of existence than the toon world, but several portals to it exist, which can be opened and closed at will by the toons. Not much is known about the Pocket Realm yet, and most toons aren't even aware of it's existance, even though most use it every day.

Some readers may be disturbed when they read that Phil has been eaten by Glump. Although Phil's classmates seem to treat this as a common occurence, which it is. Being eaten in this world isn't a very serious matter and isn't treated very seriously at all. Phil just makes his way through Glump's digestive system and comes back out, only slightly traumatized.

Important NotesEdit

  • Joey has some criminal tendencies showing, including robbing a toy store, driving a fork lift of stolen goods into a classroom, and shooting a classmate with a crossbow.
  • Joey can drive a forklift, but doesn't have a license.
  • Joey owns a crossbow and knows how to use it.
  • Ricardo may very well be very stupid.
  • Elizabeth may have a crush on Ricardo, but the feelings are not returned.
  • Prickles is an artist, but also likes to overdramatize things. Might also be involved in drama, or at least might be some day.
  • Jack may have feelings for Patty, but doesn't like her using him as a ladder.
  • There is a nurse's office.
  • Joey has a friend that could help them drop a boulder on a teacher's head.
  • Ricardo might owe an army of ants a slice of bread.
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